brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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