Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
