idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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