We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
