just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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