dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
