I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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