the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
