How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
