i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
