Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
