I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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