why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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