I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
