I bet he comes in French.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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