i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
