Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
