conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
