i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
