We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
