just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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