I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
