If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I need moral support for this bender
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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