I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
