I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
