Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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