So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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