ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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