what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
third nipple confirmed
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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