Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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