I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
