Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
