So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
FUCK WHALES
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
