they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I need moral support for this bender
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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