please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
