and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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