when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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