what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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