why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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