Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
