What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
