So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
