I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
