My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
fuck your aforementioned shoe
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
