The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
