Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I would fuck him just for his dog
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
