i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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