"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
