I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
