Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
