I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
