people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
